You've Got 5 Options

Ep 130: Joe Wilkes, Narcissists & Emphats, Gaslighting and do Energy Vampires really exists?

You've Got 5 Options
Ep 130: Joe Wilkes, Narcissists & Emphats, Gaslighting and do Energy Vampires really exists?

In today’s episode, we’re shedding a light on a type of emotional abuse that - while being quite common - is still difficult to recognize: THE GASLIGHTING. Gaslighting - colloquially called “narcissist favourite manipulation tool” - is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity*. So if you have ever heard from your partner or a family member that you are oversensitive, over-reacting or “it’s you who have a problem”, you definitely need to tune in for this one!


 In This Episode we had:


Joe Wilkes


I have a big challenge with my childhood friend. We’ve been friends forever and that friendship means a lot to me. However, every time I come out of a meeting with my friend, I feel exhausted and bad about myself. Every time I try to talk to her about my feelings, I end up feeling sorry for her and as if I was the one who did something wrong. She doesn’t seem to ever see herself doing something wrong, but she sees me doing everything wrong. I often feel as if I am the crazy one. When I think about how bad I feel, I just want to end that relationship, but we have been friends for more than 20 years, so I want to give it one more chance. Is there something I can do?

Marta’s 5 steps to solve the challenge:

  • Distance yourself from your friend- stop taking what she says personally

  • Assume that there’s a reason for her “bad behaviour”

  • Take really good care of your own emotions

  • Set very clear boundaries

  • Decide if you still want to be friends- weigh out the good vs the bad)


Energy Vampires: What are they and are they real?


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Gaslighting for dummies

If you would like to know more about the topic, contact us and we’ll make an entire episode about it!

Interesting resources:

Gaslighting: Signs You’re Suffering From This Secret Form of Emotional Abuse

I’ve counseled hundreds of victims of gaslighting. Here’s how to spot if you’re being gaslighted.

7 Signs of a Covert Introvert Narcissist



3 myths about Narcissism (read more here and here)


INTRO and jingles for the show produced by Supermoon Music Recording Studio

About The Artist of the Week:

Coventry was a miserable place back then but you’ve got to come from somewhere even if that place is a ghost town. With little prospect of gainful employment at home Joe Wilkes descended on the London music scene with little to lose, guitar in hand. 

Unemployed and left to his own devices Wilkes put together a series of guitar combos and went on busking expeditions to continental Europe.

His anarcho-acoustic band had a residency at Soho’s 12 bar club that after a time became alcohol fueled free-form rehearsals with an often confused paying audience. Joe eventually jumped ship to Paris to get away from it all where he started work with arranger Antoine Reininger who he would later work on three albums with.

Back in his adopted South London home Wilkes recorded his debut album Spotlight (2006). The next year was spent building up a following and reputation as a writer of snappy modern folk songs coupled with some intense finger-picking. Folk juggernauts Bert Jansch and Davy graham became fans and shared the occasional bill together on what was then a bourgeoning acoustic revival. In between tours Joe has been a regular at legendary Easy Come acoustic club currently located in Peckham, a sort of petri dish for the current crop of South London bands.

Here On This Frontline (2009) saw Wilkes fine-tune a politically conscious European folk identity. Looking For The Grave of Garcia Lorca (2012) was one of the last records to be recorded in Escapade music studio, another hang out for the great and the good of South London’s music fraternity. Joe worked there on and off as musician and engineer. If the previous two records hadn’t already then this album set Wilkes apart from the rest of the acoustic artists, stealing lines from Victor Hugo, eulogising Lorca and not delivering a standard museum piece.

2013 saw Joe suffer an injury to his left hand. Unable to play the guitar, Wilkes started using piano on stage and in the studio. With recovering fingers, Joe did a few shows in New York in 2014 using piano on stage for the first time as well as guitar. A tour of Europe followed in the autumn.

2018 saw the long-awaited release of Japanese Elvis; a collection of mainly piano songs, suicide love ballads and cryptic political forebodings. Japanese Elvis was taken around the UK and also dates in southern California, in and around LA, for the first time.

2019 see the release of the single Seven Gypsies, an old English folk song and one the more famous Child Ballads.  

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